Poked, Prodded, Drained, and Violated

This past Tuesday morning I went in for what I thought was a basic and routine physical, but what I got was that and so much more.  It started off with the normal question and answer routine, some basic stretching, and slide into lets go draw some blood which wouldn't have been a big deal until they forgot to take a vile the first go round and then stabbed me again and missed, so went to the other arm and finally struck gold.  Next headed off to the physical therapy where I had to climb a ladder lift certain weights to specific heights...no biggie.  A hearing and vision test followed.  Then came take the cup and fill it to the black line with pee, I aced this with flying colors.  Next is when it all hit the fan as I thought I was done and getting ready to go I heard those dreaded words..."drop your pants and bend over the table I have to give you a prostate exam."  I'm not allowed to type what I was thinking in my head (trying to keep this thing PG-13) but you can imagine. This was not suppose to happen for another 12 years or so, and I hope it doesn't again any time soon.